see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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