Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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