hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
