I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I need water and some morals
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
