Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
