Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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