You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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