overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
