You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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