Umm I'm too high to move.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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