Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize