I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
