I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
