well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
