Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
