Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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