she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
