The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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