i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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