we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
