WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
