Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
