it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
handjob tips. give me some.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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