I want to stick my p in your. b.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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