I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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