the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
