i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
