Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
