She just used a chaser for red wine.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
