I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
high people should be assigned attendants
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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