Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
where are my eyebrows?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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