Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
