she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I want a musical about memes.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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