what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
