Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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