Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
