So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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