What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fuck appropriateness.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
