Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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