ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
