If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
