I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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