After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
