everyone is single if you try hard enough
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
