i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
