I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
