You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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