There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
