Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You made out with two different species that night
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
