you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
