This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
