May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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