Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
