Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
handjob tips. give me some.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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