Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize