in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i barfeds in our rink
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
