If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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