walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize