I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
