put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
