Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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