You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
