i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
