i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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