Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
