Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
