Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
