dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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