office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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