He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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