Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
