people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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