census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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