The maid of honor just puked.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
