Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
