I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
